Staying Balanced In My Emotionally Unbalanced World

If you struggle with balancing your emotions or indeed live with emotional dysregulation then you may find this post of some interest.

Please note some people may find this post triggering.

If you don’t feel in the mood to read you can just sit back, press play and watch the video instead.

Many people who suffer from a mental health disorder can suffer from emotional dysregulation issues for many different reasons. It is said this symptom is not exclusive to Emotional Unstable Personality Disorder also known as Borderline Personality Disorder, many people who live with mental illness can suffer from this. This post covers what emotional dysregulation is, my experiences and how I cope with it. Please remember that we are all different and unique, some people may relate and other’s may not, so please do not use my post as a diagnostic tool.

What is Emotional Dysregulation? Emotional Dysregulation refers to a person who finds it difficult to control or regulate their emotions to internal or external stimuli and may emotionally over react to such situations.

Any the wiser? Ok the definition is self-explanatory although very clinical and does not do this subject any justice. If you haven’t suffered with this I might as well be speaking jibberish as this definition alone does not describe the intensity and turmoil I certainly feel when suffering from this. This subject is very hard for me to talk about and one which cuts to the bone for many reasons. I have written about my experiences living with bipolar disorder for years which I find very easy to do, this subject on the other hand is very difficult for me to cover, I have thought about sharing my experiences about this symptom for at least a couple of years now but haven’t found the courage until now.

My Past Experiences; I am now going to be discussing my past experiences through a piece I wrote many years ago . OK deep breath………Here I go.

“So many emotions whirling around my mind and I cannot think clearly. Yet again I have had another outburst, I am so embarrassed, I am a grown women but yet I cannot control my emotions and how I react. No one understands me, I feel so lonely. I know I need to stop being so over sensitive, I am not stupid I know my behaviour is not acceptable. The anger I feel inside is indescribable, the sadness, sheer desperation and the intensity of my emotions tears me up, and it cuts to the bone. I can’t stop it, it hurts it really does so much so I do not have the words for it. On the flip side I can become so happy and excitable, I am not talking about mania but a special kind of happiness which can be caused by the smallest of things. It is so difficult to wrap my head around why I feel emotions so much more intensely than others. How can I explain the intensity of emotions I feel and the turmoil I go through when feeling upset if I don’t even understand it properly myself. So for today I will draw a line under it and hope for a better day tomorrow”

So as you can see regulating my emotions was so hard to do. When I get to that stage I am unable to self-sooth, not only am I unable to self-sooth I am unable to effectively regulate my emotions and it takes me longer than the average person to be able to reach emotional stability. When feeling happiness it can very easily tip into euphoria. When I am feeling down I can easily become depressed haunted by suicidal ideation. When I am feeling anxious it can over spill into panic and so on and so on. I react impulsively due to the sheer intensity of emotion I am feeling or if I have been triggered by internal or external stimuli. I am not immature, I do not need to grow up, I am not weak or pathetic, I certainly am not behaving this way for attention or because people have let me get away with my behaviour, believe you me I along with many people who have or do suffer from this are our own harshest critics and guilt can consume us, but in that moment I am unable to see that due to pre-conditioning by society, stigma and self stigma. This only adds to the helplessness and hopelessness I feel. I am in fact suffering from a debilitating symptom which many people suffer with in silence, a symptom of mental illness something which I have not asked for.

How I overcame it; The good news is this symptom can be helped, and I am delighted that I can say I have managed to be able to regulate my emotions more effectively and efficiently than ever before through; medication and coping techniques I have acquired through self teaching, mindfulness, Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT).

It was hard work, it took a lot of time and effort and copious amounts of self awareness to learn my triggers and how to work through them. I am not going to sit here and say I don’t suffer from this at all anymore, there are times when those emotional scales tip over but the difference between now and then is; it doesn’t happen as often , I am able to work through it better, I do not feel the same intensity of emotions or turmoil when I do experience this symptom, I do not feel hopeless or helpless and I am able to live a balanced, happy, meaningful life.

I must say many people (myself included) who are able to regulate their emotions more effectively when in recovery may still suffer from emotional dysregulation when they are under a lot of stress, going through a sad or distressing time or unwell and relapse and may need to seek professional help and advice.

If you think you or someone you know may be suffering with this please do not suffer in silence, please seek professional advice and support. It is not something to be ashamed of and it is more common than you think.