Loneliness And Mental Health

Living with mental illness can be a very lonely experience, mental illness can isolate us in so many ways. Stigma and self-stigma can isolate us as can the illness itself as sometimes we can prefer to be alone because we either don't want to bother someone or the want to socialise just isn't there. I have isolated myself many a time and have been socially isolated too.

When I talk about loneliness it doesn't necessarily mean being on your own as some people can live happy and fulfilling lives without much socialisation, however many people will find this a very lonely experience. You can also be in a crowded room with friends or loved ones and still feel lonely.

So what do I mean by feeling lonely? Loneliness is a subjective experience of isolation, it is a mentally painful experience where you do not feel connected to the people around you and your basic needs are not being met. You may feel unloved, not worthwhile, even if others don’t share these views. You may feel disconnected or alienated from your surroundings. If you are lonely you feel the need for warmth, understanding and empathy. You may long for someone who you can share your feelings and thoughts with.

Persistent loneliness can have an effect on both our physical and mental health. Therefore it is important that we know how to help ourselves when feeling like this.

Many years ago when I was first diagnosed before I stepped into recovery I felt terribly lonely, I also feel like this when I relapse. Along the way I have learnt how to overcome these feelings. Below I have documented some of the things that has helped me to overcome these feelings and hope that they might help you too.

Reach out: Reaching out I think is the most important and hardest thing you can do. Reaching out may mean talking to your doctor or mental health team to find the right treatment plan for you. It can also mean reaching out to friends and loved ones. Some people may not have friends or family they can turn to this is where support groups are beneficial if you have someone to connect with or not. Finding a local support group or online group can help to know you are not alone in how you are feeling.

Notice the way you talk to yourself: If we are filled with self-deflated thoughts such as no one will like me, or something is wrong with me, no one will want to talk to me etc it will effect our confidence and fuel depressive feelings and loneliness. Instead try reminding yourself of the positive qualities you have whether that might be you are empathetic, kind and worthy of kindness because believe me you are.

Looking back at good memories: These memories may be in the form of photo's, videos or memories you have remembered, this will make you realise that there have been good times and there will be good times again.

Write down and share your feelings: Writing down our feelings can really help to offload how we feel. Some people find it hard to talk to others about what they are experiencing, while others have a hard time understanding how we feel. Writing it down and reading it or getting someone else to read it can be a very powerful way to connect to someone.

Helping others: You may want to get involved in a charity or simply be there for your friends and loved ones. The indirect benefit of this is that it will make you feel better about yourself. When you are focused on helping others, it can help you get out of your head and stop negative thoughts. It will put you in direct contact with other people and you will feel you belong to something.

Always remember you are not alone, there are many people who feel like this and there are ways in which you can overcome it.